I get asked this question often but it’s really tough to answer as every relationship is different. I had to re-iterate that this is just my personal opinion. Based on some of the things I have been through when I look back I am like WHY didn’t I just BAIL … RIGHT there and THEN!! LOL…
Now we all know that everyone on this planet have “ways” about them. Me? Babbzy? Doh trouble me when I sleeping unless you have DIED and you are waking me up to find out where you should be BURIED. If you wake me up especially when I in one ah dem deep sleeps where I am dreaming about singing on stage with Beres Hammond you must really NOT like your life.
Have “ways” is totally different then having ISSUES… DEEP EMOTIONAL ISSUES at that. Most of us think we are therapists but the truth is anyone that seems to be an emotional nut case is someone you REALLY DON’T want to invest any time in.
It is okay to be judgmental when it comes to relationships. You don’t have to date ANYONE because it wasn’t their fault what happened to them as a child. You can stand far away and say what happened to them was wrong but that doesn’t mean you have to now step in and try to bring them to the light.
DO NOT DO THIS. If you are with someone and you start to see them being an emotional wreck I say this with the straightest face possible. LEAVE!!!!
Now every relationship has its ups and downs. But the math is simple.
1. You were cheated on… a cheater… will always cheat.. under the RIGHT circumstance. You catch them, then they just tighten their game in hopes you do not catch them again. Cheaters don’t cheat by accident. LOL… You cannot get an erection, take your clothes off, roll on a condom (hopefully), actually have sex, buss a nut, and put on your clothes accidentally. Those are way too many dots to connect to be called an accident. If you are in a relationship with a cheater, the fact the person did not have enough respect for you to NOT cheat shows the caliber individual you are dealing with. Allowing a 3rd party to also engage in disrespecting you? I would not invest another SECOND with a cheater.
2. You are fighting often. Now often is a subjective term. But if you are fighting (verbally) around 2 times a WEEK where you are cussing each-other out on a constant basis it’s time to GO. NO ONE should be arguing THIS MUCH. Way too much negative energy. There are not enough issues on earth for you to be fighting verbally every week. That is an emotional burden you do not really need.
3. You have to address your dislikes very often with no obvious improvement. Someone who wants to make things WORK for you will adapt certain things to make the relationship work. This could range from how you leave your shoes at the door to basically spending long hours out on the road. If you have discussed a topic such as being out late without any contact and the person STILL does it, they basically could care less about your feelings. People who love and respect you do not want to see you hurt or upset for things that are really easy to change. You will waste time trying to get someone to address your feelings. Years later they still probably won’t address them. You are wasting your time.
4. You have to beg for attention. I mean you are standing naked and the person is on their phone on Whatsapp and Social Media. LOL…. A naked human should be much more interesting than ANYTHING occurring on Instagram or Snapchat. If you feel like you are constantly in a battle for attention when it comes to that persons friends, family, sports, social media you are with the wrong person. May not have to be a big bacchanal over it. But you should never have to demand attention on a constant basis.
5. If you are being verbally abused or physically abused. IT IS TIME TO GO. Most people know if someone hits you then that’s wrong but many of you sit there while someone degrades you. Verbal abuse in my eyes is much worse than Physical abuse because the things a person says to you can start to alter how you view yourself and take a toll on your self esteem. It could also throw water on the fire you have in your own soul to reach certain destinations.
Basically if you are not truly happy, investing years into a relationship may not be a wise move. Because after you start to invest time, money, emotions, it makes it much harder to leave… and makes it much easier to accept mediocrity….
Don’t say I never told ya!!
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